We are in 1942 Stuttgart – though the sight of modern wheelie bins says otherwise – as a woman at a facility dedicated to breeding Aryan babies tries to smuggle two Jewish children to safety

This second world war-set drama should not be confused with a famous unrealised film project of similar name. That one is the Holocaust-themed feature based on the novel Wartime Lies by Louis Begley that Stanley Kubrick tinkered with for years before finally abandoning; Suspiria director Luca Guadagnino is now rumoured to be trying to get it off the ground. Like the Kubrick/Guadagnino, this Aryan Papers, written and directed by ultra-low-budget film-maker Danny Patrick (The Film Festival, The Irish Connection), takes its name from the Nazi-issued certificate, also known as the Ariernachweis, which people were compelled to carry during those dark times to prove they weren’t Jews, Roma or from another persecuted minority.

Apparently, Kubrick abandoned his Aryan Papers in part because he feared it wouldn’t do as well at the box office if it came out after Schindler’s List – just as Full Metal Jacket appeared to have been eclipsed by Platoon. Fortunately for Guadagnino, no matter if and when his Aryan Papers comes out, he will have little to worry about with regards to Patrick’s film, a work that with any luck will be forgotten by next week. Like the embarrassingly bad comedy The Film Festival (AKA The Worst Film Festival Ever), this is a shockingly poor effort on just about every level, from the inept, back-of-a-beer-mat script, the lazy use of obviously not-German, non-period-proofed locations (a modern plastic wheelie bin is visible in several shots), to the frankly insultingly bad acting throughout.