Everything I still need to know after two weeks of the sublime and sometimes bizarre in Milano Cortina

Having avoided the horrific February weather by staying on my sofa for two weeks, I have embraced the Winter Olympics as a quadrennial extra Christmas holiday. It offers pine trees, baubles and the chance to gather around the TV while someone with an RP accent tells us how determined and courageous the British are.

The Olympic Games have always presented something of a paradox – on one hand, they are the peak of human athleticism, and on the other, they can look like an elite school sports day. There’s normally at least one activity that reminds you of your youth, whether it’s table tennis or trampolining. Presumably the skiing and snowboarding on display this month have felt very relatable to swathes of Surrey.