Learning to say no helps them resist impulsiveness and builds reflection into the decision-making process

• Sharing the load is a column about parenting children of all ages

One of the most frustrating aspects of parenting is having to force your kids to do something they will undoubtedly enjoy. The effort required to get them out of the house for football practice, a museum visit or a swim at the beach can often outweigh any potential reward (a temporary reprieve from holiday boredom, for example).

Couples talk about love languages. Parents are more familiar with the multifarious languages of no. These range from blunt refusal through to nuclear meltdowns and very temporary and highly specific vision loss – the latter rendering essential objects such as clothes and shoes invisible, even within a high-contrast setting.