Where did you learn that everything is your fault? If your marriage fails, you both have to take responsibility for it
Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a problem sent in by a reader

I am in my late 40s, married for 20 years with two teenagers, and I feel trapped. For several years I have known that I no longer love my husband. On the surface we cooperate well as parents, and get on most of the time. However, over the years we have had bitter arguments and things have been said that have left me feeling drained of love for him. There is no abuse, mainly just complacency and criticism, and a deep feeling that I am not living my life the way I need to; I feel stifled, “hemmed in” and unable to be fully myself.

I have tried to raise my feelings with my husband but he refuses to take them seriously and has vetoed couples counselling. In a few years’ time, our children may have left home and the thought of it being just the two of us fills me with dread. The voice in my head telling me to leave is getting louder, but I feel completely stuck.

Tasty ways to count down the days to Christmas

Once upon a time advent calendars were simply perforated windows you opened on to a festive scene, but now everything can be adapted, come this time of year, into an advent calendar. I even saw one for the Gilmore Girls the other day.

Lindt is a really big favourite at Christmas so, although too sweet for me, it would be remiss to miss them out. The Chocolate Advent Calendar, £20/240g (only from certain Lindt shops), has a mix of six flavours of the Lindor truffles that so many seem to love and some of the famous Lindt mini Christmas shapes (teddy, angel, Santa). If it’s just the Lindor truffles you love and you’re very particular about which, then the Pick and Mix calendar is for you, £15/300g, where you can choose which truffles to have (from Lindt shops or online).