Vaibhav Sooryavanshi’s inexorable rise will continue in the Indian Premier League this year, but it is unlikely to stop there

It’s that time of year again, a time of lists and countdowns, of soul-crushing AI brain-vomit ringed by adverts for miracle dental implants. In the spirit of the season the tech website Feedpost produced its own list on New Year’s Eve of the Top 100 Kid Influencers on Instagram And YouTube in 2025, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s fine and definitely not strange or creepy [narrator’s voice: it is strange and creepy].

Don’t think about end times. Don’t think about plagues of woodlice, flames licking at your feet. I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it. I saw a 12-year-old influencer who loves fun fashion collabs. I saw a kitten in a waistcoat smoking crack from a milk jug. Don’t think about any of that. But I am going to say it. The Top 100 Kid Influencers on Instagram and YouTube list is bullshit.

• England yet to settle on side amid pitch uncertainty

• Captain concedes Australia bowlers have been superior

“I don’t think a groundsman has ever been under as much pressure as the guy here this week.” Ben Stokes had a smile on his face during his final pre-match press conference of this Ashes series at the Sydney Cricket Ground, as he responded to a question about the nature of the pitch for the fifth Test, which starts on Sunday.

This is no laughing matter, however, for Adam Lewis, curator of the SCG, who has already been moved to defend the greenish tinge at the edge of the strip a day before a single ball has been bowled.