There is still a scattering of ‘epics’ and ‘happy days’ but this Christmas, a newer, altogether calmer Jamie has entered his elder statesman era – and he’s all the better for it

I last watched Jamie Oliver earlier this year, presenting a documentary about dyslexia – a condition he has and which, undiagnosed, caused him much suffering at school and in his early life – which was very good. I last watched Jamie Oliver cooking in Jamie Oliver’s Air Fryer Meals – a two-parter sponsored by Tefal – which was very bad.

Now he is back, with Jamie’s Cook-Ahead Christmas. He shows us a potato and fennel gratin that can be served au naturel or – with a last-minute pastry envelope and a few carvings and pinchings that would see me pulverise the whole thing into a catastrophe, but which anyone who reaches the threshold of “minimally coordinated human” should totally do – as a beautiful ruched pie. You can make and freeze that now and reheat it on Christmas Day. I would fear for such a process with a mixture of potato, cream and pastry, but I am a culinary berk and Jamie is not, so listen to him not me.

Dodgy character names, zero subtlety, a dubious approach to female roles … Russell T Davies’s show about fishfolk is entertaining – but feels like a wasted opportunity to make genuinely great TV

The fishmen cometh. Or, to put it another way – The War Between the Land and the Sea, the long-awaited Doctor Who spin-off from Russell T Davies concentrating on the adventures of Unit rather than the double-hearted man from Gallifrey, is finally here.

RTD stalwart Russell Tovey stars as Barclay, an everyman figure who soon – two excellent puns incoming – finds himself out of his depth, nay a fish out of water, as he is forced to take the lead in the geopolitical crisis that surrounds him. Barclay is a low-level clerk with Unit who, through the kind of bureaucratic snafu that you may in your salad days have believed was confined to fictional romps aimed largely at children over the festive period until age and experience poured slugs into them, ends up being part of the operation sent to deal with the discovery by a group of Spanish fishers of – well, fishmen. Fishfolk.

Icy mining magnate Gillian Anderson goes head to head with rebellious rancher Lena Headey in a drama that takes itself so very, very seriously

Angel’s Ridge, Washington Territory, 1854. It’s dusty, there’s a saloon bar, there are horses, an ineffable sense of – I don’t know, let’s call it manifest destiny – about the place, and the only colour settlers have brought with them is sepia. But wait! What’s this? The owner of the local silver mine riding into town? And it’s a woman! In a western?

Yessir, it is. Not only that but she is played by Gillian Anderson (in full ice mode, despite the dust) and is clearly trouble. Not only that, but there is a second woman about to go toe-to-toe with her and do battle for the town’s soul over the eight episodes that comprise The Abandons, the latest venture from Sons of Anarchy’s Kurt Sutter. Its joint lead is Lena Headey as Fiona Nolan, a devout Irish Catholic woman who has gathered a misfit ragtag bunch of motley orphan crew outcasts about her and lives with this patchwork family in Jasper Hollow. Jasper Hollow, alas, is full of silver that Constance Van Ness (the local mine owner, played by Anderson) wishes to bring under her control to placate one of her investors.

She literally skips through a Christmas tree farm, serves food that looks like animal droppings and cooks a meal that Prince Harry hates. Assume the crash position before watching

In the top corner of the screen as With Love, Meghan: Holiday Celebration opens is its age rating: “U – no material likely to offend or harm.” This may be true in the traditional sense. But I would advise any viewers who are British, not in the acting profession and/or not married to the Duchess of Sussex to take as many anti-emetics as medically advisable, then assume the crash position.

We open with Meghan literally skipping through a Christmas tree farm. “Once a year you get to do the tree thing!” She then decorates it, which she loves because it allows you to “encapsulate your family’s story!”. She likes to position the baubles “so they find their light”. Once she has done that, it’s time to fill a 24-pocketed Advent calendar with – no, not chocolates, you fat English pleb, but “small gestures” and “little findings” for your children. “I’m writing notes that say ‘I love you because you are so kind!’ and ‘I love you because you are so brave!’” Do the children leave notes in return, I wonder? “Should we give up hope of the occasional Freddo here?” “Morning trans fats are the tradition to start, Mother.”