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My weirdest Christmas: I was 11 and braced for tension. Then I found my parents and step-parents in bed together

25 décembre 2025 à 06:00

It was our first joint family Christmas, and I watched fearfully as my mum walked into the kitchen she had once called hers. The next 48 hours were full of surprises

There are still moments I pinch myself: when, over the remnants of turkey and red wine, my divorced parents regale us all with an in-joke from their previous life. When, on the pre-lunch walk, my dad and stepdad stroll in lockstep and talk about finance and even feelings, occasionally. When we’ve all exchanged gifts, and the most thoughtful gifts are not between husband and wife or parent and child, but ones the divorced and remarried couples have given each other.

We’ve been doing this for 25 years now, this joint family Christmas, complete with step-parents, parents and siblings. But every so often, I remember how weird it all once felt. The first time, when I was 11 years old, I watched fearfully as, on Christmas Eve, my mum walked into the kitchen she once called hers. Despite her initial efforts to pretend otherwise, it was clear she still knew where everything lived – and that the next 48 hours would be easier if she admitted it.

No more kitchen martyrs – a guide to sharing the load at Christmas

The Guardian

Par :Clare Finney

22 décembre 2025 à 13:30

From peeling sprouts to pouring drinks, there’s an art to being genuinely useful during festive cooking

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“Anything I can do to help?” If ever a line was guaranteed to incense the person in charge of cooking for a crowd, it is this one: uttered in seeming innocence by a guest roused by the sound of clattering pans, and who wants to seem polite but in reality hopes the answer is: “No, thank you.” This was drilled out of us from a young age by a mother who firmly believed that those who are serious about helping need not look far to find vegetables to chop or pots to wash up. But for guests who can’t “read” kitchens – or minds, for that matter – there are some principles that might prove helpful at this time of year. And, for hosts who hate delegating, there are a few ways to share the load (and increase the fun) without losing your sanity.

The easiest and perhaps most obvious job at Christmas is to pour drinks: for the principal cook first, and then for others. Not only does popping a cork or shaking a cocktail make a cook feel less like a caterer and more like part of the party, the sound has the effect of drawing in other helpers. “If you make a cocktail and divvy out jobs, even peeling vegetables is fun,” says Wahaca founder and Guardian regular Thomasina Miers, who enlists everyone in preparing for festivities.